Stop scratching and it will heal

Updated: Mar 9, 2021

There will be lots of hype written about the Meghan-Harry-Oprah interview, probably for years. But the whole, slightly grubby affair is the hot air of two thin-skinned, overly privileged people and should be kept in perspective - though sometimes, that is easier said than done. When emotions run high, there tend to be few who can keep a cool head, but the Queen has demonstrated that she is one person who can.

I have some sympathy with Meghan and Harry - though, not much. I feel great sympathy for Her Majesty the Queen, and in this episode, even the rest of the Royal Family. Having their dirty laundry, yet again, aired in public by one of their own. Slanderous accusations that they cannot defend and actually make Harry, Meghan and Oprah no better than the very people they are complaining about. The whole issue is a Fairytale turned Tragedy. It wasn't written on the cards that it would turn out like this, but perhaps with Meghan's temperament - perhaps it will be seen with hindsight as the inevitable conclusion. Though no-one could help thinking - it could have been handled better? But looking back in time, particularly with certain Royal Family members - that is, lamentably so often the case.

Being British and raised in a family with that seemingly out-of-fashion "stiff upper lip" upbringing, it is hard to find too much sympathy for Harry and Meghan. My admiration is for the people who are quite obviously victims and get on with it - not so much the thin-skinned people who live a life of luxury and yet claim to be victims—whining and moaning when they are amongst the most fortunate of fortunate. That doesn't seem quite right and grates a wee bit.

Harry and Meghan are grown-ups at the end of the day - they really should have figured all this stuff out first. They are not the first couple to be from a dysfunctional family, and they won't be the last. Relationships can be, and often are, complicated, difficult and sometimes messy, even in the best of times. They take constant attention, consideration and conciliation. Sometimes it all goes wrong. Welcome to life. But to be successful, you can't give up - you have to keep working at it. Trust - in the relationship, trust that you won't quit, trust that you will always have each other's backs - that's what a real relationship means. Not to empty your grievances onto a public stage; that is the opposite of trust, dignity, loyalty and courage. Let alone good judgement and certainly destroys trust in any relationship.

But like all the interviews that the Royals have given, from Princess Dianna with Bashir, Prince Charles with Dimbleby, Prince Andrew with Maitlis and now Harry and Meghan with Winfrey - I suspect they will all wish, in the fullness of time that they hadn't done it. Every time, it is a car-wreck. No one comes out smelling of roses, and everyone gets a little muck on them. Shame - you would think lessons would have been learned by now. Much better to let the muddy waters settle. Better for everyone.

Furthermore, everything has a cost, particularly privilege. Although it is fashionable to think you can, you really can't have your cake and eat it - Harry - Meghan. And the question has to be asked; what have you gained from this? Lots more money-making opportunities and a little more fame or infamy - Nothing else! Is the world a better place for your interview? No. Have you sowed the seeds of forgiveness and healing? No.

Instead, you have done exactly what you claimed was perpetrated on you - only you have magnified the hurt and damage many times over. You may feel vindicated now but as time passes I suspect your views will change.

No civilised person likes to see other people hurting. But because you have been hurt - and most of us have at some time in our lives, that doesn't mean that the best cure is to go and hurt others, even the people who hurt you. That is not how peace and forgiveness happens. Peace, forgiveness and understanding is a long road. You - Harry and Meghan - have just made that road an awful lot longer, perhaps even endless. A real royal shame.

Rick - Suffolk - UK - 8th March - 2021

www.ricknotesfromengland.com

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